The episode was written by Brad Falchuk and directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon, and is a tribute to Lady Gaga, the second such tribute to the artist in the show's history; the first one … Hunter College. (Cut back to Finn and Artie walking down hallway)FINN: Dude, I’m sympathetic for you; I just don’t see you on the football team.ARTIE: Imagine you were pushing me in this big hunk of metal down the field at full speed. And that’s how I made you feel. I care about you and everything, but you gotta admit the truth. (sighs) Actually, I really want to touch her boobs.BEISTE: If you’re all done wasting my time, I have a football team to coach.WILL: Coach…(Will leaves the office and Sue follows him)SUE: You’re weak, Will!WILL: You know what, Sue? I need football. (loudly): You like me sing! You think there’s not something wrong when the cheerleaders’ budget’s higher than the people who they’re cheering for?WILL: Well, sure, but the Glee Club is a…BEISTE: The Glee Club? And frankly, being … You can’t cut my budget without written consent from the President of the Federal Reserve! (zips backpack)(Goolsby and Sunshine leave; Kurt and Mercedes watch them)(Cut to Rachel Standing in the Hallway)RACHEL: What did they say? And we’d like to talk to you about Glee Club. Only difference now is that none of us really care.MERCEDES: Kurt’s right. (Cut to Will)Did you know there’s a forum on my blog that’s begging you to stop rapping?WILL: Wait, th-the kids don’t like it when I rap? And yes, do I have opinions about it? I suggest immediate termination and entry into the statewide sex offender database. (Phone vibrating) Oh, it’s time to feed my gimp. So here’s a message for everyone that reads your blog. You came in third last year and you’re asking for more money? … via the-sun.com “I had written a screenplay; it’s so different though from how it was conceived of, sort of as an independent film, as to how it is now. “Doo Wop (That Thing)” by Lauryn Hill is featured in The Back-Up Plan, the eighteenth episode of Season Five. Slashing the Glee budget by ten percent, cutting our transportation to and from events is like cutting our legs off.FIGGINS: Sacrifices must be made.BEISTE: This is being mandated at the district level, guys. Uh, 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock…JACOB: (To camera) 100% gay. You… you mind if I sit here?WILL: Uh… sorry. with a mouth like cat’s ass. It’s who I am.BEISTE: I thought you were the Glee guy. I thought you said she could sing.RACHEL: I guess she didn’t want to hang out with us losers. See this? Anyone who would prey on someone as sweet and simple as poor, poor Brittany deserves everything that’s coming to her. The two of you are making a very serious mistake today, the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexican Indians sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross. (Cut to Finn’s Locker)ARTIE: I figured that if Kurt’s gay and he can do it, then why can’t I?FINN: Being gay isn’t a handicap, Artie. The centrifugal force would be too much to stop. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen past to entertain exactly no one with. It’s really important that you tell the truth here.BRITTANY: I made it up. The Purple Piano Project; I Am Unicorn; Asian F; Pot o’ Gold* The First Time; Mash Off* Once an entire season is completed, I will zip together all the … (ENTER Mike and Tina)TINA: Mr. Shue? They were in the Celibacy Club and are now both in Glee Club and the Cheerios together. The episode was written by Ross Maxwell, directed by executive producer Bradley Buecker, and first aired on February 20, 2015 on Fox in the United States.. Hurt: Artie Playing Football. (Will sits down next to Beiste) Look, I really owe you an apology. In honor of Naya Rivera's passing, I compiled a list of her best performances as Santana Lopez as "Glee". (laughs) Now let’s go out there and show the school how cool it’s going to be, how cool we can be. Ah-ah-ah! I don’t want you anywhere near my squad. You’re the… the quarterback.FINN: Exactly– which makes me very cool. There’s a new student at this school named Sunshine who is a Filipino and is shorter than me. That’s how you win. (Cut to Sunshine walking down the hall)(crowd chatter)RACHEL: I’m sorry for sending you to that crack house.SUNSHINE: They stole my sheet music and used it for toilet paper.RACHEL: Look, I’ll buy you a new set. You’re not the Pied Piper anymore. What’s going on?SUE: Brittany here has accused Coach Beiste of inappropriate touching.WILL: What?! (laughter)(They throw a slushie in Kurt’s face)KURT: I don’t suppose there’s any way you could just cut out that last part, is there?JACOB: Mm-mm. Maybe Blaine didn’t wanna be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile, or someone who doesn’t dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick’s more elaborate wet dreams. You’re serious? And…she has a remarkable voice. It was the responsible thing to do.JACOB:  Is it also true you’re suffering from a crippling depression because you’re not over Miss Fabray?PUCK: (punches camera)(Cut to Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce in front of lockers)JACOB: (To Quinn) How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child?QUINN: Well, I’m happy to be back, and I’m ready to start fresh. Okay. I guess they lost their humanity a little bit. Rachel: [Narrating] And just so we're clear, I want to clear up that hateful rumor that I was the one who turned that closet case Sandy Ryerson in because he gave Hank Saunders the solo I deserved.That's cockapoopie [Crying] He was touching Hank, caressing him.It was so wrong! I got to go. You don’t even know what your body’s gonna look like. Coach Beiste didn’t touch my boobs. (laughter and cheering)(Cut to Teacher’s Lounge)WILL: Do you mind if I join you? This tumblelog is powered by Tumblr, and was designed by Bill Israel. Or are you worried no one’s signing up for your little club there?WILL: Nah, not at all, Sue. You know, not-not for myself, but for my lesser Glee Clubbers who don’t get as many solos. Go! Just like every night has its dawn…FINN: (voiceover) I would’ve joined in with a kick-ass harmony, but the dude was naked.SAM: (singing) Just like every cowboy singsa sad, sad song…(Cut to Girls Bathroom)RACHEL: (To Sunshine Corazon) Oh, hello! (Cut to Finn Hudson trying out for the Cheerios)FINN: I’m Finn Hudson, and I’d like to audition for the Cheerios! (They walk to Sam’s locker)Hey, Sam. You didn’t do this because you love Glee Club. And if there’s someone at the school that can help us do that, they’re in.RACHEL: You know what? Do you understand me?FINN: Dude, you’re totally overreacting.BEISTE: Dude? In fact, I am so sure of my Glee Club’s impending win, I’m gonna drop a little turdlet on you. Brittany. That’s never going to happen. (Cut to Principal Figgins’ Office)SUE: Cut my budget? We were filming while I was writing it. Anyone who wants to join Glee Club gets to join.SUE: Oh, God, Will, let me break it down for you. We need fry cooks, bus drivers.WILL: Well, Sue, it’s how I work, and it’s not gonna change.SUE: I like being friends with you, Will. It’s a court summons–child endangerment–‘cause there’s been a line of would-be Cheerios! I think that list is gonna be filled up in no time.SUE: Well, you know what your problem is? Which I didn’t think was possible and is very unnerving.MERCEDES: Okay, so I’m gonna go now.RACHEL: Wait! I want my girlfriend back, and I want abs. (Cut to Asian Camp)ARTIE: (voiceover) They were counselors, in charge of teaching all those tech-savvy Asian kids about the arts.TINA: (singing) Getting to know all about you. What? Don’t look at it as a punishment, look at it as an investment into your clubs’ futures. Leave the Danish.BEISTE: Anyone sitting here?SUE: Yes. You’re better than this.TINA: No, she’s an ambitious little freak who will do anything to hold on to her power.RACHEL: I just… I…I love you guys so much. (Cut back to Finn’s tryout)FINN: Coach Beiste kicked me off the football team. What you did was bad, Rachel. Look, can you stop staring at me I can’t remember my locker combo. Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?SUNSHINE: Okay. You saw it here first. (Cut to Mike and Tina)How do you get the white on rice? Hideous, lonely faculty members who met with an early death from good old-fashioned schoolyard bullying. (Sue shoulders Will; starts pushing kids down stairs)(Cut to Choir Room )WILL: Tell me this isn’t true, Rachel.TINA: She could have died.RACHEL: I didn’t send her to an active crack house. (Cut to Football Locker Room)FINN: We’re trying to recruit new members for Glee Club.BEISTE: The Panther isn’t cool with anything except doing exactly what she says without question. [Crying continues] Rachel: [Narrating continues] I am not homophobic.In fact, I have … In Sectionals, Brittany implies that they sleep with one another and in Sexy, Santana and Brittany admit that they both love each other as more than just best friends.They are officially … It’s an insult to nature and completely distracting. So why don’t youjust keep on walking?BEISTE: Hi, Will. Glee Pilot Script 1x01. How can you play football in a wheelchair, anyway?ARTIE: I have to get on that team, Finn.FINN: Dude, what’s this about?ARTIE: Tina. Okay, so this is the part where you’re supposed to be hugging me and thanking me.MERCEDES: That’s awful. But, it’s okay to not win an award, particularly when you had so much fun getting there right? Can I talk to you for a second?SUE: Sure, buddy. Now take your juicy, vine-ripened chest fruit and get the hell out of my office. (She stares longingly at BRITTANY and ARTIE) She’s so gullible, I could convince her that by royal decree, I’d made her being with me the law of the land. You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery! Tropes Media Browse Indexes Forums Videos Ask The Tropers Trope Finder You … And it was uneventful.BRITTANY: People thought I went on vacation, but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers. (Cut to Hallway by Sunshine’s Locker)WILL: Excuse me, Sunshine. I saw him tapping his foot when we busted it out in the courtyard the day before…SAM: (singing) Every rose has its thorn. I am, uh, meeting with some…some science teachers.BEISTE: You think it’s easy being a female football coach, being different? "A Wedding" is the eighth episode of the sixth season of the American musical television series Glee, and the 116th overall. The problem is that all of this negative stuff is keeping other students from auditioning.TINA: Good. I miss being popular.BECKY: This is really embarrassing.FINN: I have really great leadership skills, and, uh, I’m athletic, so I could help with the lifts and stuff. You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery!QUINN: You have a surgery when you get your appendix out. (Quinn pushes Santana against lockers)(crowd forms; ENTER Brittany)BRITTANY: Stop the violence. I just, I-I love everybody so much, I didn’t want anyone else coming in and interfering.FINN: You gotta stop saying that, Rachel. So what? The Brittany-Santana Relationship, commonly referred to as Brittana or Santittany, is the romantic relationship and friendship between Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez.. Mike tries to be into what I’m into. You did it because you love yourself more.RACHEL: Okay. Studies show that the best way to bring in alumni donations is through a successful athletic department–specifically, a winning football team.SUE: Who’s this?BEISTE:  I’m Shannon Beiste; I’m the new football coach. Think this is some joke? (Cut to Choir Room with entire Glee Club looking at clock)RACHEL: Well, hate to break it to you, but it doesn’t look like anyone’s gonna be joining us, so I think we should just call it a day.WILL: We said 3:00 to 5:00. The most difficult thing was finding the time to write. Download Glee Season 3 Nationals Fan Fic. I mean, after all, that’s why it didn’t work out with you and Blaine, right? Besides, how did you guys find out anyways?MIKE: The Asian community is very tight.WILL: I just don’t get it. What was the biggest challenge in writing a Glee script? (Cut to Choir Room; Later)(Mercedes and Kurt are playing with the piano)MERCEDES: So, is that a men’s sweater?KURT: Fashion has no gender. “But yeah, I was in glee club in high school … I mean, after all, that’s why it didn’t work out with you and Blaine, right? From Season 6 Episode 3 "Jagged Little Tapestry", aired January 16th, 2015 “No tryouts, just sign up.” Nobody wants to be part of a club that just anyone can join. A Very Glee Christmas * The Sue Sylvester Shuffle * Silly Love Songs * Comeback; Blame It On The Alcohol * Sexy; Original Song; A Night of Neglect * Born This Way; Rumours * Prom Queen; Funeral * New York * Season 3. This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Ryan Murphy or Fox. “Glee is a giant ball of suck.”KURT: We get it, Mr. Shue. • Rachel’s surrogate and dads are both shown – her mother is called Amber and is described as “whitetrash”, while her dads are named Joe and Bruce Why do we need new members?WILL: Well, since Matt transferred, we only have 11 members, and if we want to go to Nationals, if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline, we have to go from a small rebel force to a giant wall of sound.RACHEL: Yeah, Mr. Schuester’s right, you guys. I don’t want to start off three touchdowns behind. I used to be the man of her dreams, but now we’re not even in the same world. You look steamed.WILL: Those kids went out and really tried to show what Glee Club was all about. And you know why? Download Glee Pilot Script 1x01. (They perform “Empire State of Mind” in the courtyard but the rest of the school is unimpressed)(Cut to Sue’s Office)WILL: Hey, Sue. You’re demoted to the bottom of the pyramid, so when it collapses, your exploding sandbags will protect the squad from injury. I can’t take my eyes off them. No one’s gonna follow you around thinking everything you do is cool.MERCEDES: What about that Sunshine girl? (Majority of club gets up to leave)FINN: Just wait. Well, if Beiste get her way and our budgets are slashed, you’ll be cutting kids left and right.WILL: (sighs) You’re right. (Rachel sings “What I Did For Love” as she walks down the hallway, ending in the auditorium)END. Get out.QUINN: Coach Sylvester, please hear me out.SUE: Nope. He totally idolizes me.KURT: Oh, face it, Finn. SANTANA: I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. I’m the captain of the USS Kick Ass,  not the USS Back Talk.FINN: Please, Coach, don’t do this to me. I mean, what with all the sign-up sheets you put in my locker room.WILL: Finn is a really good kid. The episode features the planning for and wedding day of Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez, … This is not an official break up. This is fun. No one comes into my house and steals from me.BEISTE: Do not get up in the panther’s business, lady. Glee Club is fun! No, that’s not what was going on here. They were epic. (Cut to Teacher’s Lounge)SUE: Beiste is on the move, Operation Mean Girl is a go. Jul 30, 2020. (They shake hands)BEISTE: Thank you. This is about me. She’s a mother! Brittany, that’s a serious accusation.SUE: It’s very serious.WILL: Brittany, what you’re saying could ruin somebody’s life. I just need some alone time first. (They fight and grab each other’s hair; Santana pushes Quinn onto the ground)(ENTER Will)WILL: Hey, hey, what is this? Save Glee Season 3 Nationals Fan Fic For Later. So I’ve paid a hundred dollarsto Azimio and Karofsky to brutally slushie us in front of Sunshine’s locker, terrifying her and ensuring she doesn’t sign up. (Cut to Kurt standing in front of lockers)KURT: You know what, Jacob? I’m not the quarterback anymore, which… means I’m nothing. (chuckles) You make not trying to destroy Glee Club easy. I think apologizing would be a good start. (Finn dances to “I’ve Got The Power”)BECKY: Am I dreaming? Uploaded by. Have you?FINN: (To Artie) I like this kid.ARTIE: I like his confidence, but the Bieber cut’s gotta go.FINN: Mm-hmm.PUCK: So, can you sing with that big mouth?SAM: I’ve never really sung in front of anybody before.PUCK: Dude, let me tell you, chicks dig singers.FINN: Well, give it a shot. By defacing the sign-up sheet. I just didn’t trust her after she sent me to a crack house. You got a boob job.SANTANA: Yup, sure did. You like me sing very much!SUNSHINE: Um, I totally speak English.RACHEL: I even did a little research on you. Santana Monologue – Glee. Taken.BEISTE: How about there?WILL: Actually, they’re all sort of taken. out there since late July. Not you! Get the hell out of my locker room! Fact is, you should be breaking up with me.RACHEL: I’ll never break up with you.FINN: Me, neither. During the school day, they are constantly together and they sitBehind the scenes of Hell-OAdded by Lopierce4evatogether during Glee Club meetings. I lied to you last week, William. Everyone still hates us. Gah! Now, here’s the plan. I forged that letter from My Chemical … Coach Beiste makes us do a hundred push-ups for every minute we’re late, so…(chuckles)FINN: Yeah, you made the team, that’s cool. Suspending disbelief for entertainment purposes is one thing. Number two, I’m sure you’reused to Hillbilly parents yelping adulation at you as they attempt to impregnate the tailpipes of various off-road vehicles. Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow Glee Clubbers?FINN: Yes. (Cut to Noah Puckerman in football locker room)Confirm or deny the rumor that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy.PUCK: It’s true. Right?ARTIE: We didn’t even place.VOICEOVER: And that’s what you missed on Glee.JACOB: Up here. Written By: Ian BrennanDirected By: Brad FalchukTranscribed By: majormorris. It’s only 4:58. The Times They Are A-Changin' (spec script - Glee) Uploaded … When are auditions?RACHEL: Let me get back to you on that one. Now, first things first. Oh, and also, Figgins wants to see us. I’m actually talking to them right now.SANTANA: I wanted people to notice me more. I hope you’ll consider me. Standing up and singing about something. (Cut to hallway near Sunshine’s locker)RACHEL: Hi. Cat crap in your coffee? (sniffs)SUE: William, Beiste, I wanted to make a peace offering with a batch of warm, homemade cookies.BEISTE: Oh, those smell like dog poop. Glee Facebook Glee Twitter Glee Season 6 Episode 8: "Wedding" Quotes I had one last gift for both of you, my legacy couples, and I wanted to give that to you myself. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?SAM: I don’t… know. You’ll deafen them with the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together.QUINN: I understand you had your confetti cannons taken away. Everybody told me that Sue was the school bully and, uh…that you were really cool. Not everyone should be champions. Should have gone along with the poop cookies.SUNSHINE: I actually would have stayed here, but I think Rachel would have made my life a living hell. I’m just another Glee loser now. During the school day, they are constantly together and they sittogether during Glee Club meetings,and frequently during season one held hands. (CONT'D) Slowly but surely, anybody who could do a jumping jack defected to McKinley High's nationally … That was out loud, wasn’t it?JACOB: (Cut to Will Schuester) Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post on my blog saying your Glee Club song selections sound like they come from a drag queen’s iPod?WILL: Well, I try to do something for everybody. SANTANA: Oh, sure I can, unless you got yourself knocked up again, slut. You in?WILL: I’m in. Let’s go! She dumped me for Mike Chang. These seats are currently being occupied by my ghost friends.BEISTE: I beg your pardon?SUE: My ghost friends. Give him a chance to show you.BEISTE: You mean don’t make a snap judgment about him? 15 The Show Was Based On A Script That Was Originally Written For A Film. Maybe he finally got freaked out by your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. You come in here, pushing a kid in a wheelchair, making me look like some kind of monster because I have to tell him he can’t play?FINN: No. My buddy Sam’s gonna try out. That would be awesome!ARTIE: So you’ll help?FINN: Sure. Hands off that list. Glee - Episode 6.08 - A Wedding - Kurt ask Blaine if he still wants to marry him. included here are owned by Ryan Murphy, all rights reserved. Humiliated and devastated. SANTANA: (grunts and pushes Quinn into lockers) You did this to me. Save Glee Pilot Script 1x01 For Later. High school is a dry run for the rest of your life. The more money the football program brings in, the more I can give back to you guys! 3.16 Saturday Night Glee-ver 14114 views Apr 21, 2012: 3.15 Big Brother 16142 views Apr 21, 2012: 3.14 On My Way 23537 views Mar 02, 2012: 3.13 Heart 26011 views Feb 20, 2012: 3.12 The Spanish Teacher 9131 views Feb 10, 2012: 3.11 Michael 27617 views Feb 01, 2012: Home > Season 3: 3.01 The Purple Piano Project: 1267 files, last one added on Sep 21, 2011 Album … Join Login. That’s racist.MIKE: Totally racist. (sighs) I’m just…I’m very worried. #a little something for you quinntana fans #quinntana #glee #glee script #5x12 #100 #toxic #unholy trinity #quinn fabray #santana lopez #lol glee writers 166 notes werepresent Artie?ARTIE: I really want to play. Of course, my choice would be Glee! For another week.BEISTE:  Hand 'em out, Wayne Newton. Tryouts start…right now. You think I don’t get this everywhere I go? I hadn’t thought about that.SUE: Beiste needs to be stopped, and I need your help to topple her. I’m dyslexic, so my grades aren’t that good, but…I’m working on it.PUCK: Dude, your mouth is huge. We’re going to need more voices in order to beat them.FINN: Yeah. We’re doing wind sprints.
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